feel like writing

mamma said she dont like the way

i'm holding my head lately

she say my gait is off

she say my voice doesnt come out the same

that it turns around and dives right back into me

falling flat in my belly

i looked at me

thru her mirror

it was so unkind

watch dangling from my wrist

antennas moving all over the place

even tho i was standing still

dark circles under my eyes where

hope and future usta be

cheek bones razor sharp

and lips that wouldn't bend

i saw

fragments

and i know i would've given even what was left

had he simply held out his hand

i know

i will give what's left

if he just held out his hand

i wanted to get to the root

think it, say it out loud

sans all the poetic bullshit

i had come through my hell

draped in jewels

whole and radiant

feeling fine

feeling great

feeling like...

life, despite the tragedy

is beauty

but he came

and danced something beautiful

shined up my jewels and made my radiance

greater

he sang sweet and low

lulling me into a secure and sacred sleep

one that made me feel more awake

more alive than ever

i plucked my jewels

one by one

and placed them in his hand

watched while he swallowed me

savored me

rubbed his belly

and held out his hand for more

everything about being in his mouth felt amazing

his tongue was wet

and warm

his throat was the passage to bliss

bliss

i had never been there before

i did something i had never done before

i gave him the best part

the best

he took me

shrunk me

put me in his pocket

and

vanished

i almost had myself convinced

it was all a dream

some silly girl poetic fantasy

i had churned up in my imagination