today was a difficult day

but i have no regrets...

i was asked to work an extra hour and ended up working about four hours more.

i dont get enough sleep. i was tired but couldnt sleep.

she asked to borrow the disc with Sunny's pictures on it. the one we used for the funeral.

my reaction was unexpected.

i had a moment. a very intense and hard moment. a moment that seemed realer than the good times. a moment that seemed deeper than the ocean.

thank goodness for my best brother friend. he always seems to clarify and shed light.

the moment lightened and then passed.

when i finally dozed off, i was awakened by what must've been the police beating at my door. but it wasnt the police. he was just beating like the fuckin police.

this nigga KNOW i work nights, sleep days. wtf.

it took me half an hour to get him to leave. half an hour of saying no and explaining, yet again, why our whatever we had came to an end. i couldn't possibly had been this important to him. why did i find it so easy to x him out of my life, yet he seems to be hanging on? geesh.

now i just finished my cup of coffee and am exhausted but i have to go to work for another 10, 13, 14 hrs.

kinda sucks not having that one person....

that one place...

that one spirit...

that one.

kinda sucks being alone sometimes.

but i know it wont be this way forever.