im back....

what does ms feel like?

sometimes, its like walking thru mud. an invisible force trying to inhibit movement. legs feel like led and picking it up, taking a step, exhausting.

sometimes it feels like a miscommunication. step to the right my mind says, body goes left, or...nowhere at all.

sometimes it feels like sleep. not rest, but sleep. all day, even when im awake...im sleep, almost...
dead.

sometimes it feels like....
100 years lived thru war and chaos and still struggling, ducking and dodging, fighting, drowning, gasping for air.

sometimes it feels like....
a secret monster that claws and jabs from the inside out, to show the world it exists, even tho i try to hide it.

sometimes it feels like....
a horror dream that i just havent woken up from yet.

sometimes it feels like...
urgency to get my affairs in order cause...i might not be here too much longer.

and then....sometimes, altho it be rare lately, but sometimes it feels like...
something i can handle and conquer. put in my pocket and keep under wraps. something i can deal with. something i can shrink down to the size of a dime and toss in a fountain for good luck. something i can walk away from and if i dont look back, only if i dont look back, i wont see it following me.